The nicer side of Cow Bay, F.N.Q.Once, whilst working at a Far North Queensland hospital, I met a very unfortunate man and an equally or perhaps even more unfortunate baker.
A middle aged man was asked by his wife to organize a nice iced chocolate cake for her demure bridge party which was to take place the following day. Dutifully, he drove to the local bakery and spoke with the baker who said, “No problem."
It just so happened that a bunch of ferals from Cow Bay had had the same idea: a nice chocolate cake. (Not a bridge party). They trucked into town, dreadlocks waving in the breeze, and went to the very same baker. Varying the pitch of their monosyllables as much as they could, they grunted what they wanted and again, the baker said, “No problem”. (Actually, you wouldn’t want to tell a bunch of ferals that there ‘was’ going to be a problem, even if you couldn't understand them.)
The next morning, the man stepped out into the steamy sunshine, got into his slightly muddy 1978 Ford Falcon 500 and drove to the bakery. It was at that precise moment that his difficulties began.
The baker had stepped out for a short time and so, on his arrival at the bakery, the man spoke to the baker's wife. She found two lovely looking, seemingly identical, iced chocolate cakes on the shelf, picked up the first and gave it to the man.
The Cow Bay ferals lurched into the bakery just as the man was leaving and collected what they expected to be their ‘very special’ iced chocolate cake.
The bridge party was a hit with the local ladies but the man, relegated to the kitchen to wash up the tea cups, felt a bit left out. Gradually, over the course of the morning, he consumed the entire huge remaining portion of the chocolate cake.
As the rubbers concluded and genteel gossip filled the living room, the man staggered in from the kitchen saying he didn't feel quite right. His wife, a sensible lady, suspected a stroke. With the help of some of the bridge players, about five of them, she drove the man to the hospital.
The baker was eventually contacted (the mobile phone connection along the crab pot path in the nearby mangrove swamp was not very good back then). He was able to confirm that the ferals’ chocolate cake, the 'very special' chocolate cake, the one containing the liberal quantity of hashish oil, had indeed been accidentally sent by his wife to the bridge party.
The man recovered to his normal state of excellent health with supportive care. The baker's wife has probably calmed down. The Cow Bay ferals almost certainly won't have calmed down and the state of well being of the baker remains unknown.
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